whatmakesyoustay

You are like a gentle summer breeze that flows through the open windows of my life, smelling so soft, so sweet, so pure and so innocent. Filling the air around with a scent unlike any I've ever known, something like the beautiful scent that fills the air right before a gentle spring rain, like a ray of sun shining through the clouds as if to bring new light into my being. My heart asks daily "What makes me stay"

I will give to you all that I have to give. I will ask nothing in return. I will forever give to you all that you will allow me to give, in whatever way it is that you have a need. I will do this through an unconditional love from within my soul.

I feel as if things have been strained lately. Maybe its me, maybe its you, maybe its both. Maybe we are more alike than I realize. Maybe we are not as much alike as I had thought. Maybe what's wrong is so simple, yet maybe there is nothing wrong at all. I get a feeling sometimes when we talk, a feeling from you that it's hard on you to wait for us to be together. I feel your pain, you feel mine, and we want this time together to last, and we find we have diffuculty saying it's time to go.

I feel sometimes in the things you say, that maybe it really is hurting you, that you have the same strong desire, longing, and need to see me as much as I so need to see you. Then maybe again it's my mind that is playing tricks on me. Maybe that's not what you're feeling at all. The heart can do many things when it's alone, when it hurts, when it has a need that is not being fulfilled.

Sometimes the pain is so great I can barely breathe. Have you ever just sat someplace, lay in bed, and so desperately wanted to reach out. Sometimes thinking if you close your eyes and reach out, that you can feel that person. That someone you want so badly, you would be willing to give up almost anything at that very moment just to feel their touch. Just to hear their voice. Just to look into their eyes and say " I love you "?

Have you ever wanted to crawl through the phone just for that brief moment in time to touch another's hand, to place your

hand softly on their face and gaze into their eyes? This is where I find myself so often. There are times I can do nothing but sit and cry from pain inside. Agony of the loneliness I feel so deep inside. When you are not here I am incomplete, When you are here I am so very complete, so very whole again. Yet I know the time will come you will be gone again. Have you ever wanted to pick yourself up and tell your soul to stop all this, it hurts too deeply?

Have you ever wanted to tell your heart how wrong it is to love this way? Have you ever felt a hand touch you gently, and hear a whisper "don't worry baby I'm here"? Have you ever felt a sudden chill and knew at that

moment someone so far away was whispering " Please feel me, Please feel I need you"?

For so long now all I have ever wanted was to love you so very completely, give to you even a small portion of the sheer happiness you have brought into my life. To be able to show to you everyday what you mean to me, how important you are, how you so deserve much more than I can ever give to you. Yet at times I feel I give too much. I show too much, I love too much. I am left powerless and so filled with fear.

I believe in you. I believe in me. I believe in us. I believe in what we share, what we have between us. I believe in the 2 hearts that are here, so far apart, yet so close to each other every day.

You are in every dream in my soul. You are in every thought my mind has. And, you are in every piece of my heart. You are in everything there is about the "me" that I am, or ever will be. I so want to be the same for you. I don't know that I can ever be that for you, or with you. But I will do everything you need me to do, just to achieve that for You !

Such a soul you have, such love there is in that soul screaming to be set free. Such fear you have in letting it be free. Yet in all the daily things in our lives there you are, asking, praying just

for once in your life. Allow there to be someone that will love, honor, respect and give all to you that you so desire. Everyone searches for that kind of truth. We all need it, want it, crave and dream of it. Yet daily I ask myself why would I ever go to this length to wait for my destiny. I can't walk away, I have tried.

One touch of your gentle loving hands brings new meaning to "hello." Words that flow from your perfect lips and roll straight into my heart as if they have a life of their very own. A smile that can bring peace to any day that has gone wrong. An embrace of total joy, an embrace that will allow you to feel as if the entire world has left and it's just the two of you.

May you always know that kind of love is within your reach. May your heart and soul someday be able to willingly and freely accept what is offered to you. May you forever know in this crazy world of hurt and pain, there is a soul that cherishes you

to the very depths of your core. Forever is what I said, forever is where I will remain in your soul.